Rampi says...

There should be a time in life, when you say "Enough!"

Loud silence

Sitting in the last seat of a bus, on the way to bangalore. I am writing this with good new rahman music blarring in my head, on my mobile. The way technology has invaded our life will be saved for another post. This will be another attempt to show off my philosophical abilities.

We recently made a spontaneous trip to a place called kemmangundi. Its a good 300 kms from bangalore. The plan was to find a place for lunch. And we ended up driving all the way there. The way spontaniety turns me on. Nothing can ever give me that adrenaline rush. Me being a teeny weeny bit frustrated with work, i would be ecstatic if i could get out of there. I want to feel that confidence. Of course i can survive! But the aim is not survival. Thrive!

My inability to stay focussed on one thing continues to drag me down from every attemp i make to do something for the betterment of future! i'm 23. I keep it a habit of declaring my age now and then helping me remind myself that 'now' is the time to do things to do things.

The way my posts have gone down; its not that i'm busy, its just that things stopped happening. I did not have anything to say or talk about. This piece of space has seen my good and bad times. I've been in love, i've had/have friends who even understand the words my eyes talk, i've worked my ass off to the extent that my roommates doubted my existence, i have been forced to quit - not literally. What more can possibly be there in the bag? Has my life just turned into the back wheel of a cycle on stand? Going in cirles. Why has it become totally un-interesting? Dont I have to do something about it? Would i be able to do what I wanna do? Hmmmm... im sure, i'll have more questions 2 years from now and no answers!

Cheers!

P.s. Irrelevant topic

Naice!

Today, I sorted my winamp playlist, by most played, and listened in order!
Was wonderful!
To my surprise, my very recent favorite viva la vida came 1st in the list!

Ah!

Here I am. Back again!

I am not going to make excuses like "writer`s block"! LOL! Although I told that to a lot of people when asked. Of course, they grinned. :-)

So yeah. Its 2010 already! I have this crazy superstition. Yeah yeah! I know.. I am an atheist, I dont believe in God and all. The thing is, I have alternate screwed up years. 2006 was screwed. 2007 was good. 2008 was f**ked up again. 2009 wasnt great, but it wasnt bad at all. Now 2010.

I fell asleep exactly at 11:55! And my record of non-alcoholic new year still continues. Although, I had rum chocolates. wonder if that counts.

Resolutions!

1. Lose weight! Work out!

2. Make a very serious attempt at an mba in a very good school.

3. Socialise!

4. Have passion for one thing and do it with all the zest and love.

Wanted to write more. This is what comes to brain now. Will definitely write more often!

Happy new year everyone!

:-(

I, strange as it may sound, was reading my own old posts the other day. And I found this. Check out the 2nd point in fiction. Why did I ever say that. I felt so so bad.

I need to clear my conscience.

When Ravi moved in with me 1st, he continuously threatened me that he will leave me alone and go to chennai. So, him being with me forever was a fiction back then. And i have been feeling really bad about it since yesterday.

Hmmm... thats feels a bit lighter...

Waaw!

The last time I was even remotely related to an award was in 2007 in anna university where I was a whisker away from a shining new Moto Ming phone(Guys dont laugh). And thanks Adi!

1. What is your current obsession?
A fraction of the Whole - By Steve Toltz. Amazingly crazy.

2. What are you wearing today?
A very boring grey shirt and brown pants. Formals! Office dress

3. What’s for dinner?
Definitely some place exotic. Friend in town!

4. What’s the last thing you bought?
A Webcam. My sister wants to see me!

5. What are you listening to right now?
For some wierd reason, American pie by Don Mclean. The very old version.

6. What do you think about the person who tagged you?
Adi! Outrageously talented Writer. More of a fan then a follower.

7. If you could have a house totally paid for, fully furnished anywhere in the world, where would you like it to be?
Florence, Italy.

8. What are your must-have pieces for summer?

If I was in chennai, AC! Now that i`m not, and summers dont feel like summers here in bangalore, cant think of anything.

9. If you could go anywhere in the world for the next hour, where would you go?
Chicago.

10. Which language do you want to learn?
I would say Russian or german. But let me 1st learn hindi properly.

11. What’s your favourite quote?
Reality Continues to ruin my life! - Calvin

Wisdom is nothing but cleverness with all the guts thrown out. - Source Shantaram.

12. Who do you want to meet right now?
If it has to be a celebrity, Natalie Portman. She would probably wanna marry me.

13. What is your favourite colour?
I wear Red a lot. But it is black.

14. What is your favourite piece of clothing in your own closet?
A maroon striped shirt which I picked up from fab india. I love their shirts!

15. What is your dream job?
CEO! or maybe Chariman!

16. What’s your favourite magazine?
I love Reader`s Digest. But I dont read it much.

17. If you had $100 now, what would you spend it on?
Probably a business phone.

18. What do you consider a fashion faux pas?

Fashion is really not my thing!

19. What would you do if you have a time machine?
I wouldn't go too far back in time. Just about 6 or 7 years and I would have made myself be in a position to choose an alternative career.

20. Describe your personal style?
Casual. But I`m improving on that. I am wearing good formals for functions.

21. What are you going to do after this?
Halucinate. At work an no work.

22. What are your favourite movies?
V for Vendatta. For Natalie Portman and the dialogues. Anbe Sivam obviously. The Dark Knight. I loved public enemies.

24. What are three cosmetic/makeup/perfume products that you can’t live without?
I can live without them.

23. What inspires you?
What would you remember, if you looked back ten years?

Its from an awesome Tata Safari Ad.

24. What do you carry in your bag?
Lappie! Zune, My hard disk, a small notebook to make notes, a couple of pens, and a webcam.

Yes I am a geek.

25. What do you do when you “have nothing to wear” (even though your closet’s packed)?
I never have nothing to wear. Even if my closet is empty.

26. Coffee or tea?
Coffee Baby! Nicotine All over.

27. What do you do when you are feeling low or terribly depressed?
Music man! And maybe watch an episode of scrubs. It really helps.

28. What is the meaning of your name?
My Grand dad gave it to me. I hate it big time. But nevertheless It is my name. It means Prasadam from the lord Ram. Irony - I`m an aethist.

29. Which other blogs you love visiting?
Quite a lot. But nowdays not finding enough time to keep track.

30. Favourite Dessert/Sweet?
Gulab Jamun. Kesari by mom. Anytime plain vanila ice cream.

31. Favourite Season?
Winter. Sigh! Wish it snowed in india.

32. If I come to your house now, what would u cook for me?
I would make crappy microwave coffee. Bru! Which is actually not bad.

33. What’s your current mood?
No Work. Bored.

34. One book/movie/song that made you sit up and think?

Fountainhead & Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand (Adi! I copied.)

The rules are:
Respond and rework – Answer the questions on your own blog, replace one question that you dislike with a question of your own invention, and add one more question of your own. Then tag eight or ten other set of people.
I would like to share these awards and tag….

Reni!

Rach!

Navaneethan! Time for you to write something in english.

Such!

Such I wont say Lovely blog, but i atleast want you to write something!

You!

Why did I disappear?
Hmmm...
The question should be why did I return?
And the answer is, well like a normal person, I have something normal to write about. Finally!
There is hate, unhappiness, stupidity and people shouting at the top of their voices, everywhere around you. Like a good music player with a good collection, creating voidness in your head, making you forget the polluted wind blowing through you hair; just a thought of the friend giving you a hug, with a smile on the lips, and absolute love in his heart; makes the inconvenience go away. The poke of his collar bone telling you, reality does not just ruin your life, its actually not as depressing as the life of a skunk stuck on a railway track with a train nearing.

One of such a friend is leaving for the US now(literally), even after my repeated persuasion in different ways. I cant say I will miss you. For I have always missed you. I dont know how the bond tightened after college. It is probably the loss or the gain or the repeated humiliation of ourselves. I have recently caught up with the habit of getting inspired by people. And even before this habit started I was inspired by you. You are one of the greatest friends I`ve had. Thanks! and irrespective of the answer to the question of his existence, God bless you.

You will be on the board of directors of my company. Consider the offer. ;-)

I love you man! (in a totally non-gay way obviously)

Rampi Says...

Dogs bark! Show the finger and move on!

25 Random things about me!

One more tag! This time by Equi.
25 random things about me! 25 is a huge number. Its gonna be a while. There will be like 10 points which would probably be obvious, if you have been reading my space.

1. I dont forget good things that others have done to me. However insignificant they are. And, I also dont forget embarassment, whatever may have been the impact of it.
2. I used to think/wall stare a lot. But now I dont find time for that. I miss those activities. Probably thats why my blog posts` frequency has come done drastically.
3. "I`m 22, single and I can do whatever I want! No one can say anything about anything I do." This is what I said today morning while shaving, and ended up with a ridiculous style. (I removed it!)
4. I love movies. Any kind! Favorite being Anbe Sivam(Obviously).
5. Those embarrassing moments which I dont forget; I think of them when I drive the bike to work. I cant stand the thought of it and I scream. I just scream. I`m thinking of getting a punching bag to relieve the pressue of embarassments.
6. I love my family.
   
7. I`m a hypocrite. I dont believe in God. But encourage ppl to believe in God. I say ego is the most important thing in the whole world. I still say it is. But, I dont seem to have much of an ego myself. I realised this recently.
8. I have to mention this. I love my nephew. The recent bonding that happened when my sister was here. I miss him.
9. I get high on those momentary satisfactions. Like getting an output at work, or helping a blind person crossing the road, or taking my parents out for dinner.
10. Recently I have started feeling like yesterday happened so long ago. Days go by fast, but yesterday feels like a week before. Probably coz, I do a lot of things in 1 day.
11. I am a great fan of Rahman. Right from the 1st song he composed. I used to be so confined with his music. But now I have enhanced my playlist. Contains a lot more different genres of music. But still Rahamn Rocks.
12. This blog used to be my punching bag, when I started it. It helped me a lot to get rid of my frustrations.
13. I love writing. I`m obviously not a professional. I dont know fancy words. But I like words.
14. I`m a workaholic. There are 2 things a human needs. Money and sex. For both, we have to work for it. Nothing wrong in being a workaholic.(food is a subset of money)
15. I love eating. Whatever it maybe. I can eat and eat and eat. That explains my horizontally inclined physical structure.
16. I cant find topics to talk to a stranger. I just cant say "lovely shoes! where did you get them? oh! that shop! thats near the other shop where I get my jettys!".
17. I miss my friend Ravi. I wouldnt have, if he had gone to US for studying.
18. I love my friends. I seem to have made very few good friends after college. And now, only my college friends are my life.(All guys! Damn you!)
19. I miss being with my sister. Life would`ve been lot more comfortable if she was around. Before the trip she knew nothing about me. But now she knows everything.
20. Every crude injustice thing I see on TV; I dont get annoyed or angry. It just astonishes me the brilliance of the accused. I guess I was born to be a serial killer.
21. I secretly love the attention I get; at work or wherever. I just tend to be proud of myself.
22. I get influenced by people. I work with 2 brilliant minds and I already consider them as my mentors.
23. I cant really think of what will happen tommorow. I just live today. Actually, I just live now.
24. I am God.
25. I used to love water. But, now I love fire.

That was long. I tag none. Let this finish with me.

Tag-a-thon 2

A series of tags! This ones by Rach !

Its about food!! he he...(evil!)

1. One dish you can crave for any given time of the day/ night/ situation?

It astonishes me! Theres nothing in particular! I`m a simple food lover. I eat anything from bread, butter and jam to a full meals... anytime anywhere. I wont mind!

2. One dish you'd never had and would love to regardless of the expense?

The lobster. It always looks tempting. but never had the company to eat it!
People are turning vegetarians. And, I cant eat the whole thing alone.

3. Most expensive dish you've ever had?

I guess it is karimeen pattichathu. Something which I had recently. I think, the outrageous price was coz of the restaurant. The dish was awesome too! I dont remember the name of the restaurant. And i dint pay for it obviously!

4. Most bizarre dish you've ever seen or tasted? Like totally blown your socks off! Makes you gag every single time your lay your eyes on it. (Hope you've got the point by now: P)

Nothing is more bizarre than the karnataka Sambhar. jaggery in sambhar!?? Doesnt make sense! Other than that, I dont get intimidated by the way a dish looks...

5. Your poison?

Food! I eat quite a lot.

6. One a lonely rainy day, your sitting cozily on your sofa, you'd crave for?

Hot Chocolate! Or Amma`s coffee!

7. First forbidden savory you'd crave for while you've been sick?

I dont restrain myself from having anything even when I`m sick. Though, if mom is taking care of me. I get only idly and curd... So I`d just crave for food!

8. Your all time favorite TV snack:

Haldiram`s Bhujia Sev!

9. On your first ever kitchen experience you prepared:

Dosa. The first time it came well. Every other time the shape was all screwed up!

10. After a tiring day at work/ college/shopping/loitering you'd loved to come home to?

Subway tuna sandwich! Come on! I live alone!

11. A cuisine your most comfortable with:

Home!and of course american and italian!

12. A snack which you loved A LOT back when you were a kid and still love it till date?

fry yums! cheap and outrageously hazardous. Dripping with oil! That was all i could get of the 5Rs I get.

13. A dish which your mum makes/ used to which you simply adore?

Lots of them! the garlic chutney, buttermilk kozhambu, tamarind kozhambu, ladysfinger sambhar... honestly lots more!

14. Most expensive dish you ever had?

Q 3!

15. What you're eating RIGHT NOW? or had immediately before?

Now nothing. Just finished eating the idlys amma packed for me!

Just when you thought it was all over...BONUS! (Don't cha love em?) ;)*16. Your friends are coming over on short notice. You have half an hour. How would save your dignity by being hospitable and feed your friends? (Considering you can't take them to a restaurant)

I dont have the apparatus set up to ake anything. I`ll have to order something. And of course! you think they are gonna come to my place for the food alone?

Cool that went smoothly. I wonder how that always happens when it comes to food.
And I tag none!

The lunatic is on the grass...

I quit my job!
I`m committing a suicide.
I feel so happy right now!
I`m eventually gonna die of a deadly disease.
I`m finally momentarily satisfied.
I`m so dependent.
I`m smiling!
I hate myself.
I love myself.
I`m a hypocrite.
The child has grown.
The dream is gone!
I have become comfortably numb!

P.S. Inappropriate title.

Eclipse

All that you touch
All that you see
All that you taste
All you feel.
All that you love
All that you hate
All you distrust
All you save.
All that you give
All that you deal
All that you buy,
Beg, borrow or steal.
All you create
All you destroy
All that you do
All that you say.
All that you eat
And everyone you meet
All that you slight
And everyone you fight.
All that is now
All that is gone
All thats to come
And everything under the sun is in tune
But the sun is eclipsed by the moon.

There is no dark side of the moon really. matter of fact its all dark.

Courtesy Pink Floyd...

Why I can relate to this song so much?
Its unanswered!

Change

Well, I have changed the template...

Change is a good thing, maybe the best of things and good things never die....

Let me know if the new template create a problem, especially the playlist thing.

Songs are pretty soft, definitely wont make heads turn in your offices, so i guess it`ll be okay...

As it is...

The facts being facts...
Good things are good...
Bad things are bad...
no bad thing happens for good and
no good things happen for bad.
when something good happens... feel good...
when something bad happens... face it...
Things are as it is... you and I cant do anything about it...
There is no hidden reason for things to happen... things just happen...
No... its not even close to being a poem...
Just a bunch of incomplete sentences and repeating words...
Just a self consolation/motivation of a sleep deprived individual...

This is my friends photo gallery, which made me smile after sometime... Thanks...

The Endless Tunnel

There seemed to be a faint light at the end of the tunnel. He extended his hands, pointing it to the dot of whiteness. Being used to the balance of his life, the path ahead was too rocky for him. He wanted to lean on the tunnel wall and rest. But he was afraid that he might fall asleep. He kept remembering that he should not fall asleep, as he leaned on the wall and closed his eyes. The moment lasted for a moment. Then, like death, he had memories flowing around his head. The vision of the ghosts he saw in his childhood dreams. The anxiousness when his dad came home. The beauty of the morning sun. The ridiculous education. The awesome winter rains. The parent teacher meetings. The mom`s kisses, the sister`s hugs. The friend fights. The first crush, the first rush of blood coz of lust. The futureless present, the past less future. The recognition of beauty. The realization of music. The first college, the first love, the first break up, the first screw up, the first moment of satisfaction, the first moment of complete dissatisfaction, the first job, the first salary, the first roommate, the loss of the first roommate, the tears, the pain, the unrealized love, the unforgettable moments, the beauty of a child`s smile, the innocence of a child`s tear, the love from the family, the days in no man’s land, the days of exploiting labor, the crooked way to where he was. He remembered everything. He did not cry. He knew he hasn’t seen the worst and best of things yet. He stood up and walked. Towards the light. Extending both his arms, hoping to grab someone or something along the way. He walked to the ends of the endless tunnel.