15 Park Avenue

Well, One good thing that sony pix, the one movie channel that comes for free, does is, put good indian made english films. They premiered this 15 park avenue movie tonight and it was good. When it got released in chennai at the sathyam cinemas, some people told me it wasnt good. People said they regreted to have paid for this particular movie.But I say its a good movie and worth a watch. Im someone who is used to watch slow movies and this one is quite slow.

The story is about, a schizophrenic girl, who lives in her dillusions and has undergone terrible experiences in her life. Its about her short-lived love life, and how it makes such an impact on her life ever after. The film was well taken and Rahul Bose does an excellent job. I have seen this Aparna sen`s film called Mr & Mrs Iyer long back and it was one of the films i loved watching as an amatuer movie watcher(if i can call myself a movie watcher now!!).It had the same pair, konkana sen and rahul bose and evidently rahul bose is one man im extremely jealous of. He is a director, an actor who acts off-beat films, he`s a business man, he is a rugby player, he is a diplomat and what not!

We have this super cool party tomorrow at Zubair`s(a good friend of mine) farm house. Its gonna be fun! 20 of our class guys are comin and theres a swimming pool thats waiting to get dirty!! Its gonna be hilarious. Will post as soon as im back day after tomoro morning.Till then, party on!!

Nice one!

I found this in another blog... it was damn good...

Study this small story,
Hope that makes a BIG change in YOU


Professor began his class by holding up a glass with some water in it.
He held it up for all to see & asked the students
“How much do you think this glass weighs?”
'50gms!' .... '100gms!' .....'125gms'> ..the students answered.
“I really don't know unless I weigh it,” said the professor,
“but, my questionis:
What would happen if I held it up like this for a few minutes?”
'Nothing' …..the students said.
'Ok what would happen if I held it up like this for an hour?'
the professor asked.
'Your arm would begin to ache' said one of the student
“You're right, now what would happen if I held it for a day?”
“Your arm could go numb, you might have severe muscle stress
& paralysis &have to go to hospital for sure!”
….. ventured another student & all the students laughed
“Very good.
But during all this, did the weight of the glass change?”
asked the professor.
'No‘…. Was the answer.
“Then what caused the arm ache & the muscle stress?”
The students were puzzled.
“What should I do now to come out of pain?” asked professor again.
“Put the glass down!” said one of the students
“Exactly!” said the professor.
Life's problems are something like this.
Hold it for a few minutes in your head & they seem OK.
Think of them for a long time & they begin to ache.
Hold it even longer & they begin to paralyze you.
You will not be able to doanything.
It's important to think of the challenges or problems in your life,
but EVEN MORE IMPORTANT is
to ‘PUT THEM DOWN' at the end of every day beforeYou go to sleep.
That way, you are not stressed,
you wake up every day fresh &strong & canhandle any issue,
any challenge that comes your way!
So, When you leave office today,
Remember friend to'PUT THE GLASS DOWN TODAY! '

Antwone Fisher

That is the name of the movie, and the reason for which im writing this post. A friend of mine gave me this dvd which had 5 denzel washington movies. Ive just seen 3 of them, the manchurian candidate, the training day and this Antwone fisher. Its based on Antwone Fisher, a young navy man, is forced to see a psychiatrist after a violent outburst against a fellow crewman. During the course of treatment a painful past is revealed and a new hope begins. Thats the plot outline. I just found out, it was directed by denzel washington. Beautiful movie and well made too.

There wasnt much of a response for the previous post!hmmm.. OK! Now, I`ve achieved the realisation of the reality of life, and it took me 4, 25km drives! Yes! The distance I travel to my college. Its a nice, smooth and long highway and I think a lot during that drive. And something which was running in my mind for the past 2 days were cleared! Clearly, taking life in a positive sense, can result in wonders. My project 1st review just got over yesterday. We were prepared moderately and we said something to the panel! They tried asking us questions, but the ball was on our court! They absolutely had no idea what we were talkin about.

Ive been posting some short posts for the past week and it is going to continue. Im really bored at home and im quite desperate to get out every single day. And now, im working out! Im going to the aerobics classes. Finally! Im quite sure, i wont work out unless I pay for it! And its 650 bucks a month! Now, that doesnt matter much! What matters is, every single muscle in my body aches. Some of them, i`ve never known those parts even had muscles! Thats my success story for the time being.

How does it feel when you lost something forever in your life? Something which you have valued so much..

I need answers!!

Bloody Sunday!!

Yeah right!! I did download a movie called bloody sunday, but thats not wat im gonna talk abt! Its today, such a bad day! The most unexpected things happen on sundays. People who never bothers to talk to me, talks; Things i never expected to happen happens. Just another, bloody pathetic day. There are somethings which you dont want to happen and deep within you wud want it to happen. It would just be great, if those things are just permanent.

The Sounds of Silence

Well, I know im late. I saw a movie called graduate a coupla days back. Its a dustin hoffman movie and it was okay. But what caught me were the 2 sound tracks of the movie. One song is the sounds of silence. I jus loved the lyrics of the song. The lyrics goes this way

Hello darkness, my old friend,
I've come to talk with you again,
Because a vision softly creeping,
Left its seeds while I was sleeping,
And the vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of silence.

In restless dreams I walked alone
Narrow streets of cobblestone,
'Neath the halo of a street lamp,
I turned my collar to the cold and damp
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of
a neon light
That split the night
And touched the sound of silence.

And in the naked light I saw
Ten thousand people, maybe more.
People talking without speaking,
People hearing without listening,
People writing songs that voices never share
And no one deared
Disturb the sound of silence.

"Fools" said I,"You do not know
Silence like a cancer grows.
Hear my words that I might teach you,
Take my arms that I might reach you."
But my words like silent raindrops fell,
And echoed
In the wells of silence

And the people bowed and prayed
To the neon god they made.
And the sign flashed out its warning,
In the words that it was forming.
And the signs said, The words of the prophets
are written on the subway walls
And tenement halls.
And whisper'd in the sounds of silence.

Isnt that just beautiful? I just loved the song and now im adicted to it.

The other song of the track was scarborough fair. The genre is so damn soothing and beautiful. I loved that song too. And the 1st 4 lines goes this way.

Are you going to the scarborough fair
Parsley,sage, rosemary and thyme
remember me to those who is there
she once was a true love of mine

Simply beautiful aint it?Its by 2 guys called simon and garfunkel. They are mostly not alive now. But these songs are jus mind blowing!!

Mankind!!

For the past 20 years, i`ve grown to be, nothing but 75 kgs of fat! Lot of people wanted me to be a lot of things. I`ve certainly not made their thought, come true(gee are those the right words?). Okay, Ive been around a lot of people and I think 20yrs of life is enuf to say this! People do change. They aint the way they once were. I change characters myself. Well the worst part is, when you find out they arent the way you thought they were. Am i making any point here(damn!! im too bad at this!!)? The basic thing is, people around me, never turn out to be the way, I think they were. Now, that hurts. Okay, Im kinda pissed at something, which I cannot tell for sure.

Does this trust thing happen to everyone? You know, you trust someone from the bottom of your heart and they do something which you have asked them not to do, how much ever damage that directly creates to you, how would you feel? I sure do feel bad. WTF? I live for me, why should i be worried about others? I can say that, but cant do that. I dont mean to say im a social worker. Im jus saying, I dont want to put the people who have seen me grow all these years, in embarassment. And I dont want to be the source of any problem thats created in the family. Though i have been, a lot of times, believe me ive felt guilty for each and every incident.

Cant think of anything else... goodbye!!

Jobless...

Its the 3rd day in a row, that im staying home doing nothing. Bored to the extent that i sit and watch sun tv! I cant find a topic to post. The bsnl has introduced the faster internet, upto 2mbps. So doin some downloading. Downloaded one movie today. Its called, little miss sunshine. I should say, BEAuuutiful movie! Its about, how losing in one thing doesnt make the person a loser. Nicely taken and has a tint of good comedy, though it is rated as comedy. The feeling of downloading a movie and watching is very good. But i have to stay awake till 2am everyday rather night, to switch on the download. Gee, that sucks!

Yesterday was pongal/sankranti. Big deal! The festive mood was in the air. New movies in tamil channels. And, not to mention the awesome food. Ate nicely!! And today, is maatu pongal. Got a lot of birthday wishes since morning. Now, what did I do today; woke up by 10 in the morning, ate breakfast, saw tv, ate lunch, saw the movie and now sitting and blogging. Wasnt that productive?

Talking about festivals, I sure do think that, the families after 10 years aint gonna celebrate no festivals! Yeah, yeasterday, mom tried to wake me up and i successfully got up by 9! Me and her, got a sugarcane, which no one is gonna eat. She did some real good pongal and we ate. And not to forget, we did the "pooja". Now, it aint a girls name(blabber)! I used to, enthusiastically yell "pongalo pongal" when the rice boils and come out, way back, 15 years ago. And now, i dint even see it boil!! Things do change and, damn!! changes are happenning pretty fast!

jaage hain...

Obviously, jaage hain is the best song in the guru album.And it sounds all through the film. Yeah!! I saw the film and got my review of it!! Well here goes... I dint understand it.Well, forgive me, i dont know hindi and to add to the misery, abishek bachhan dint know english in the movie! Well, the performance is good. Okay!! they all were awesome!! Vidya balan gorgeous!! Madhavan cool( though i dont forgive him for the smooch)!! Abhishek... too good.Hes put on tummy to act in the older role.But thats no big deal. I can do that in like a week! And ash, i liked the older ash!! she looked more original in the older role!!And Oh My God!! Rajiv menon!! I swear to god, i`ve never seen such beautiful work in an indian movie. I got glued to the screen lot of times and the reason is Rajiv!!

Dad has been sick for a week and hes been in and out of the hospital and im glad i cud be of some help. Nothing much, i jus drove him around. Today, it just confirmed that there is nothing serious. Thank god. As Im saying that, i got a thumbs down for going for a movie!! Thats dad.

He never says NO! But he never says YES! He talks as if im having a hard time goin out. Yeah!! I got a job and ive got all the freedom i want!! I can say so! He doesnt control me and all, but it really is hard to ignore him and go ahead with my plans. Thats the way ive been raised. Ive been told to keep my parents as happy as i can by god knows who!!.Its just that as i grew, Ive seen more of them as unhappy people. Keeping them happy, certainly wasnt possible by me studying. So now and then or most of the time, when dad doesnt stop talking after me summoning the petition to go out, i drop the plans. But sometimes, i overrun those cribs and i end up feeling guilty the whole time!

Who Am i gonna do it for? I love my family and absolutely no one else! Love you ma and pa.

A Bundle of thoughts!

I finally did IT!! Its not what you think, but I like the way you think! Okay, i finally got the heart and enlightment to delete my orkut account. Its really hard, to ignore or avoid all the public requests for the profile to stay. But i did it. Okay, now i`ve lost my only mode of contact, with a lot of people. But I dont regret it. I feel relieved that, i wont be having anything to be tempted on to go into my orkut account. Seriously, am i not blabbering? Im really sorry, somethings have been on the busy mind, i cant concentrate!

The other day, just before going to sabari mala, i was sitting and wondering, what a useless bum i have been! Then, suddenly, there is a hype abt me getting a tellable score in cat. Everything changes. My mom talks like im surely gonna be doing the mba. See how things change in a week? I am totally useless on the 1st day of the week, and im an mba graduate to be on the last! It really feels wierd.too much sugar in the coffee, is not supposed to taste good(though i like it. its a personal delicacy(wink)). The same way, for the past 4 months, nothing has gone wrong. Wierd aint it?

Me and my pal senthil have enrolled for classes, in a company who do projects for the students in the final year. They make it sound logical. They are actually selling projects, but they make it up by taking classes for students who are getting them. That way, we dont do the projects with zero knowledge. You know what I mean, we have only some knowledge of it.This is getting very technical.

Off-late ive been watching a lot of fresh prince of bel air; Will Smith is good. Argh!! He`s damn good. All those fat jokes and short jokes. If you get ur hands on it, jus watch it. Its good. And beware it will grow into you!! You know wat im saying?

Common... Just gimme a hug!!

I`ve always argued with mom, how a hug makes you feel better. Its all in the succession of munna bhai method. Jus hug and make people feel better.I jus was browsing the other day and came accross this video in a site called free hugs. Theres a video in it and its good, as in i liked it.

The other highlight of this week is, i saw my cat score as soon as i came back from the trip.I was overwhelmed to see, the score. It was funny though. I got a 83.53%ile. Which is obviously not good, but thankfully not that bad. The whole point is that i cared a damn about the exam and look at the freaking results!! A good friend of mine, used all of his study holidays to prepare for this cat(as if i studied during the hols) and scored less than me. God!! I must be a genius(wink). Just imagining, how pissed he must be! Anyways, sorry buddy, i dint mean to hurt you(wink)! Anyways, it kind of too late now for doing mba. I feel its a bit foolish to let go of the job and go study again. And seriously, studying is surely not one of the things that i do best! Anyways, my parents are really interested in me doing mba right away. But theres serious thinking involved.

On the other hand, my project, with my buddy senthil, is still in stake. We havent decided on anything and we are way behind schedule! God save us. And the most pathetic thing is we are paying for the project(phew).Thats it for now!

Found It Finally...

Yup!!I found the place where i can forget everything i wanna forget!!It is the good ole sabari malai!! It was a tremendous trip and i was accompanied by my pal arun. He being a debutant was good. He did really well in walking and of course, he managed the ridiculous nature calls.I in the course of time have learnt to manage. Stupid things apart; now that ive found the ultimate place, it not possible for me to go there when i feel bad. For that matter, i have to walk 48kms all the way through 3-4 mountains to see the god(which is secondary) and have a peace of mind.So have to find a place somewhere near. Still on the quest!! ;)

And about the trip, The path through vandi periyar was the highlight. The best easily!!The Lord of the rings could have been shot here than in new zealand. So beautiful.It is only during this one month that people are allowed through this path. Its damn beautiful; i wish i had an slr cam. Okay! thats it for now.

End of Days!!

Its 30th and tomoro at midnite another stupendous year comes to an end. The 31st, Arun`s b`day, the occasion which is celebrated every year with a festive mood. This time, i`d rather sit home. I dont know why i feel that way, but, i dont wanna be a part of any new year celebrations anywhere. Yeah!! One reason is, im wearing the "malai" and im not supposed to do a lot of stuffs. So now postponing all the parties after the 7th, when im back after the trip to sabari malai. But I hardly understand my sudden change of attitude towards new year eve parties.

Today, me and arun had some talking, i told him i was glad the year was ending. He asked me why, i said it was a bad year. Now that makes me wonder, i was selected for a job, i cleared the one arrear which i ever had, and ive spent a lot of money on myself!! The year wasnt supposed to be a bad one, but everything came to me all of a sudden. I was happy for a minimum number of days of the year. Otherwise, it was a bad bad bad forgettable year. Of course, every fogettabe thing cannot be forgotten. Arun told me the same thing. He said, it was a damn good year for me. Look at what im destined to?? Im not celebrating even when im kind of successfull. Like they always say, if you get one you obviously lose another.

Now, I really really want 2007 to be a memorable year. I want to do a lot of stuffs which i may never do in my life time. You know, i really want to have fun in the final semester. I will try my best to forget 2006. Im going to look forward. Im going to party, im going to hookah and hopefully im goin to spend a lot of money. You know the last 6 months in which im totally going to be depending on my dad. Obviously, i need my dad and mom for the rest of my life. But i wish i take care of them. Thats supposed to be in another post. I love my family and friends and no one else in the world. Only my sis, reads all these crap, and an obsessed moron, me, read it to make sure i have written the readable stuff. excuse me, Am i psychic?

cough cough... Kill me!!

Yeah!! For the past 4 to 5 days ive been coughing like a dog, dont mind to imagine how dogs cough!!Anyways, it feels like shit, when you have to cough all the time. My trachea is all hurt and i suppose it must be bleeding now, off the coughs!(cough)ts been some time since ive posted, the reason, one, i was off to chidambaram and two, i din find an appropriate topic(as if i got one now!!!!).Okay, to talk about chidambaram, i have to admit, i din do wat i wanted to do. I did spend some time at the temple, but it was too crowded. Had some okay time, watching the channels on tv, which we dont get here in chennai. Then sat in my cousins ice cream shop, for sometime. Time just flew by.Relatives asking me to eat every hour.That is what we call, anbu thollai!

Okay, a useless post it is alright!Anyways, too bad, nothing much happened in chidambaram for me to write here.I love the place and the temple. But, i went there on another mission, to think, to realise my value, to find myself and get myself on the road from no where.I guess i havent succeeded much on that. But, this dog will surely have its day! I`ll be waiting.It was always my dream to find a place where i can go when i feel low. Im in search of that place.Chidambaram natraja temple was a trial worth it.

ciao!!

As said earlier, im leaving for chidambaram tonight. Goin to reinvent myself. And i got my new goggles today. Its a fast track one and cost me a fortune. Actually cost my dad a fortune. And i love it. I got my contacts coupla days back and glad that its settled in my eye pretty well.Im jus loving today. For the first time, i cud see myself clearly with goggles on, into the mirror. It doesnt sound exciting! But, it sure is for a guy who cudnt have a good vision from kindergarden.Thats exageration!! I wore glasses only by 7!! Okay, now i feel all excited.Im leaving to chidambaram, and im all geared up.

Filled my phone with a lot of music.Took 3 books!! One is Night Bloom by herbert lieberman, the next is The lost Don by Mario Puzo(Damn!! hes too good!!)and The monk Who sold his ferarri!! Theres a lot of reading to be done out there.I was planning to take my laptop, but i ended up against it.Gonna hit the road tonight, obviously in a bus!! Dad doesnt allow me to even take a ride in his car.Yeah, the last time we went to chidambaram, and i was driving, he dint lean back a second and relax. Its better when he drives than, getting screwed up in the head by letting me drive.I keep away from asking nowadays!! Ooops!! shifting topics again. Okay!! Im off guys!! see ya`ll in a week!! tata!!

Worth it??

I was reading some blog and i founs this "How much is my blog worth" tag.and her blog was worth for like around 1168$.I was excited and i tried doing that for this blog.There it came, "Your blog is worth 0.00$" in bold.
Who cares?? Im writing all this stuff for my own satisfaction.Im totally happy about it.

Hail Bharathi!!

I have this tendancy of digging up old songs and listenin to them. Sutrum vizhi was one of them. I have been going around asking people if they knew the song. I was shocked!! Every single person said the song was, strum vizhi chudare from ghajini!!
omg!! This is a Bharathiyar song and with Rahman`s music. I used to love it, when it was out. Then forgot about the song. Always happens! Then, i found this song, ironically on Bharathiyar`s birthday. It was awesome. I din feel the lyrics before. But it made an impact on me this time. Ive been constantly humming this song. I listen to it atleast 20 times a day, and i (hopelessly) sing along every single time!

Since then, Ive been looking for Bharathi`s songs and listening to them. Wow, the man did do a great job. It is the beauty he incurs in every word of his poems. Ive become his fan and believe me, Jus read his song and you`ll feel it.

Sigh!! Its finally over!!

Its 2:30 in the afternoon, had a bath and lunch. Sittin in front of the computer, as usual, listening to tere bina from guru, pathetically humming along.Wait a minute!! Im vetti again!! Yipee!! Yup, it got over today, yeah im talkin about the exams. Finally(sigh)!! The exams were goin on like forever.The day of results is another story.But now, im retaining my vetti status.

Right!! Now people wont believe im vetti. Coz i have left orkut.Ive never thought of leaving it.But, got enlightened one day.But that doesnt mean im not vetti. Im absolutely vetti! Have some TV series from friend, gonna be watchin that. And as I said, goin to chidambaram, for 10 days.I am gonna be gettin contact lenses in a coupla days, hopefully.Goin to watch a movie today(veyil).I believe it gonna be a good movie.
Thats it, jus wrote for the sake of writing. chow.

Im Happy!!

Well, its really been a while since i said that. Yeah about a decade i guess!! Ive never really, have accepted the way life has for me.Ive never been happy with wat i have.Thats bad and i jus realised it.It is pretty late. All through the blog ive jus expressed myself like a depressed moron, who has his own square in life and who never wanted to come out of it.Its gonna change. I jus realised, time to think and solidarity helped a lot. Exams have been haunting me all this while.When the exams are over, im gonna run,away from this place;to chidambaram.Thats my native place.Ive always refused to go there with my folks, but inside i love the place.Got a temple which is of my knowledge the best.

Its got space.I can sit down and breathe-fresh and good air.I am gonna spend some time in that temple.Thats why im going.Ive not all of a sudden shanged into a spiritual kind and all.I jus love walkin around the temple,sittin there,looking at lives and me being happy.Thats the basic aim for every individual aint it?-to be happy.And there, i look at lives, not people.After a long time, im now very happy and I really dont wanna lose it.The past has or has not been too good for me.Ive actually never known if the life has been good to me.I dont care about the future.And I love the present.Good to be happy!