Eclipse

All that you touch
All that you see
All that you taste
All you feel.
All that you love
All that you hate
All you distrust
All you save.
All that you give
All that you deal
All that you buy,
Beg, borrow or steal.
All you create
All you destroy
All that you do
All that you say.
All that you eat
And everyone you meet
All that you slight
And everyone you fight.
All that is now
All that is gone
All thats to come
And everything under the sun is in tune
But the sun is eclipsed by the moon.

There is no dark side of the moon really. matter of fact its all dark.

Courtesy Pink Floyd...

Why I can relate to this song so much?
Its unanswered!

Change

Well, I have changed the template...

Change is a good thing, maybe the best of things and good things never die....

Let me know if the new template create a problem, especially the playlist thing.

Songs are pretty soft, definitely wont make heads turn in your offices, so i guess it`ll be okay...

As it is...

The facts being facts...
Good things are good...
Bad things are bad...
no bad thing happens for good and
no good things happen for bad.
when something good happens... feel good...
when something bad happens... face it...
Things are as it is... you and I cant do anything about it...
There is no hidden reason for things to happen... things just happen...
No... its not even close to being a poem...
Just a bunch of incomplete sentences and repeating words...
Just a self consolation/motivation of a sleep deprived individual...

This is my friends photo gallery, which made me smile after sometime... Thanks...

The Endless Tunnel

There seemed to be a faint light at the end of the tunnel. He extended his hands, pointing it to the dot of whiteness. Being used to the balance of his life, the path ahead was too rocky for him. He wanted to lean on the tunnel wall and rest. But he was afraid that he might fall asleep. He kept remembering that he should not fall asleep, as he leaned on the wall and closed his eyes. The moment lasted for a moment. Then, like death, he had memories flowing around his head. The vision of the ghosts he saw in his childhood dreams. The anxiousness when his dad came home. The beauty of the morning sun. The ridiculous education. The awesome winter rains. The parent teacher meetings. The mom`s kisses, the sister`s hugs. The friend fights. The first crush, the first rush of blood coz of lust. The futureless present, the past less future. The recognition of beauty. The realization of music. The first college, the first love, the first break up, the first screw up, the first moment of satisfaction, the first moment of complete dissatisfaction, the first job, the first salary, the first roommate, the loss of the first roommate, the tears, the pain, the unrealized love, the unforgettable moments, the beauty of a child`s smile, the innocence of a child`s tear, the love from the family, the days in no man’s land, the days of exploiting labor, the crooked way to where he was. He remembered everything. He did not cry. He knew he hasn’t seen the worst and best of things yet. He stood up and walked. Towards the light. Extending both his arms, hoping to grab someone or something along the way. He walked to the ends of the endless tunnel.

Rampi Says...

There are only 2 happy moments in a person`s life. One is the birth and the other is the death. The time in between is just the vague memory of the person when he dies.

Tagged...

Adi has tagged. Quite a number of tags nowadays...

My 5 addictions.

Coffee - Cant live without. I`ve already told this. Caffeine is like nicotine.

Music - Puts me to sleep on sleepless nights. Sleep is divine, something which brings sleep to us is godlike.

Television - Keeps the mind blank. Doesn't allow me think. Which happens to help me a bit.

Office - Yes you all know that I am a workaholic. I stay at office at least to play ping pong. I`m just addicted to this place.

Movies - I watch all kinds of it. Even the crappy ones. But the good thing is, I know a crappy one when I see one.

Thats it!
Now I tag reni and vignesh.

Rampi Says...

People, relationships, career and money are part of our lives. We can lose them for life, but not lose life for them.

Enemies of Time...

Time is something which is far superior than anything in the universe. If you believe in god, time is more powerful. Time can be good and bad. It can kill and heal. We are fighting time. We want it to go back, but it wont. We want the time to be fair to him, us and them, but it wasn't and it is not. We are fighting it with all our strength and power. The time is not fighting back, I stays still, giving us excruciating pain. But we continue fighting, we will fight till the end of our lives.

We are fighting, we know that. I realize that when I give up my cot for mohit to sit and study; when I hug mols after he comes out of the kitchen praying, when I stand there at the door of his room and watch sriram sleeping, at the same place where he had slept a week ago; it was a week, and week is time, we are fighting time. We don't pray blindly asking him to come back. Its not fair to get over it and forget it. Its not a break up. It gives a reason to be normal for sometime and cry, it is something which we have to learn living with. It is something like a deadly disease which will never leave us, we will eventually die of it, but we will live with it. We and all of us who knew him will have to live with it.

The incident hasnt taken away my belief in god. It just has strengthened my unbelief in god. Our fight will continue.

For your information : Ravi, my roommate had gone to hampi with his office colleagues on Friday. On Sunday morning, when he tried to take a bath in the tungabatra river, he got washed away by the current of the river. People around tried to save him, but he got drowned. We weren’t able to find his body till Monday evening. His parents had arrived there and the formalities and the cremation was done at hampi only.

R.I.P - Ravi

Tagged, Whatever!

About the tagger: This tag was from kenneth. How can I miss this? moreover, its a good way to think about something else.
Aw crap, your iPod’s jammed on one song! And you won’t be able to get it fixed for a week! What song do you hope to christ it’s stuck on?
Pink Floyd - Shine on you crazy diamond.
You learn that your new cable package has the Anytime Movie Channel! Which movie do you immediately flick to?
Certainly Anbe Sivam.
You walk in the front door and smell dinner cooking! What makes you go, “Oooh, I like that!”?
I think it will be anything which mom makes.
What’s your favourite season?
The winter! I`d prefer it being snowing. I could go out without protection to feel the chill, the pain and then realize that I`m still alive.
What’s your favourite word?
NO.
And your least favourite?
YES.
If you could be anything in the world when you grow up, what would you be?
I`ve grown up already. And, I`m me.
What’s your pet peeve? C’mon, you can tell us! What makes you go, “ARGH!!!!”?
People talking.
And finally… Which celeb makes you go all fluttery and swoony whenever you see a picture of them?
None. I dont allow anyone else other than myself to make me go all fluttery and swoony.
Great! Now it’s your turn to tag some of your friends for this thing!
I guess I have to... reni and vignesh.

How does it feel?...

I`m 22, still a single, certified workaholic, favorite employee for the boss, no life what-so-ever and a loser in the making. I cant do much about being 22. I`m a single, and I have a excuse, which is "I cant tolerate dumbness". Workaholic - I have to work hard against it; since that also involves working, I`m not inclined towards it. Favorite employee for the boss, I had to answer a lot of peoples' question of how "I" can make such impressions on people. The easy answer was, that he is a bigger moron than I am. No life, hm mm... . A loser in the making; summarizes the whole scenario!

I`m a dead man walking. I hate what I`m doing, but still I`m doing it. To make it sound more stinging, I am addicted to do what I`m doing. Though I wish I could work like this for something which makes more sense than an organisation getting more money out of it. People keep on congratulating me for becoming a sadistic moron(though the guy in my room wont approve of it) or my success at work. Its really a sad story, that I`m sitting in my office on a lovely september bangalore afternoon on a saturday. And as I think about all this, a song echos in my brain...

Bob Dylan:
How does it feel?
How does it feel?
to be on your own...
with no direction home...
like a complete unknown...
like a rolling stone...

It does result in a feeling. A feeling in my stomach. A kind of feeling in which things from my head are running down to my stomach. It between good and bad; awkward.

The Rat Race

It was a cold evening. I was wearing my jacket. It had rained that afternoon, so road was wet. I was listening to Lucky ali - Yeh Dil Deewana hai. I was engrossed to the song that i totally forgot that I hadn't moved an inch for about 5 minutes. When i did realize, I wondered, why it was so abnormal. I hadn't seen that kind of a traffic congestion in a lifetime. Why was it so weird and irritating? I dint realize. It was 7:15 in the evening. Thats when I realized, that was the 1st time in about 5 to 6 months, that I had left office on a week day, "that" early. And, Bangalore was bound to have that kind of traffic at that time.

I had been working my ass out for that long. I`ve never imagined myself working that much. To be very honest, no one ever has imagined "me" work that hard. Not that I have some time for myself, I`m planning to study something and go ahead with life. I've been telling people, with an evil look that, I want more money. And, I`ve been willing to do anything for it. I cant believe I also am falling into the shell of earning money, wanting more, getting more and still wanting more. The life, the professional life, has not given the openings for me to do what i want to do. And, to point out the mistakes i did, I very, very lately realised what i want to do. I`ve become a serious contender in the Rat Race.

Rampi Says...

Motivation never seem to come from the hard working person you like or who is your friend. It rather comes from a person whom you dont admire, when he/she rises to a greater level. *

*It has made me start studying for Gmat again.

Ten things I miss about Chennai/Home.

1. The Beach!
2. The sound of the AC thermostat going “click”, when I’m half asleep at 2 or 3am.
3. My feet on the table, Pink Floyd casting their spell, looking into the monitor.
4. Hours and hours of wall staring.
5. The numerous, midnight freak out places. (It’s not always about the booze!)
6. Bike rides, with an attire to be worn in Antarctica.
7. Long naps on the open book.(more of a college student thing)
8. Delicious mangoes. I know I’m still in India. But, the pleasure of sitting in front of the TV and sucking on a cold mango seed on a Chennai summer afternoon. WOW!
9. The rare rain. And the temptation to get wet.
10. The beach! Oh I’ve already listed that. The teleporting thoughts while I sit and watch the waves.

Stating the Obvious

It is nevere ever forgivable, when I say I have been working my arse off, and coz of that I havent been writing anything in this space. To be very very honest, I have opened the 'New Post' page atleast a coupla times and sat right there, wondering what I should write. The same is the case now. I have no idea what I should write about. It`s been a long time since I used this space. But, absolutely nothing has happened from then till now. Life is absolutely stagnant, no forward nor a backward movement. I`m staring straight into the tunnel, which has no end. And believe me, it is pretty damn dark in there.

I have brought my dad`s car to Bangalore. Diesel price has been increased. I, not contradicting with universal opinion, accept the fact that, bangalore traffic is quite annoying, especially when you use a car. But, the climate is awesome and with good music in the car, and if you are not in a hurry, then you can always live happily with a car here. Again, with the hike in the fuel prices, I might just contradicting myself.

For quite sometime, I have been wanting to write about the things I notice when I go on a long walk on the airpot road. But, by the time i started writing, I had stopped taking one of those walks. This is an absolutely non-sense post, with a non-sense title. But, Heres a start. I`m not gonna leave this place. So, expect more soon.

Rampi Says...

There is a tiny difference between a good guy and the bad guy; the good guy has the fear of being seen!

Rampi Says...

You dont live to work, but you work to live!!
Where is the life???

Rampi Says...

It feels like heaven when you realise that, you had earned the sip of coffee you drink!

Void,NULL....ahhh, the head hurts!

The voidness prevails! I have nothing to write, though I think a lot! I am sitting in my office, in my spare time, the little which is there, and writing this on the love telling/rose giving eve! No, I’m not going to write about my confusions about being un-committed again. This is going to be about another relationship all-together.

Over the years of watching and learning, and getting hurt and learning, and finally getting screwed and learning, I have developed immense immunity towards things which would normally put normal people into an advanced state of depression. This immunity rocks! Seriously, it makes you feel like “GOD”! It feels like its been a decade since I got depressed and its been a fairly good journey.

Now, this immunity apparently grew to a fair level and I started getting immune to people. I never really cared for what others around me, directly or indirectly related to me thought about me. I do have a group of friends who are pretty much similar. But, you know, crazy things happens sometimes which makes me wonder that, “Am I a normal human being, just like others?” . But most of the time when I wonder, I answer myself, Dennis Leary style! “Naah! I’m an a**hole!”.

Anyway, you talk to a friend, a good one, who might just “care” for you. You don’t care a damn, you don’t put what that person says into your head, but, you know that, the soul is a good friend of yours! You are in an awkward position where you just receive and you don’t give. And, having been immune for so long, you don’t even know if you have to give or not. You just don’t know what you have to do, and basically end up confused. I guess the best way is to be the way you have always been.

It is a bit of a stupid post! I ask a question and answer it myself. But what the hell, after a long break I’m writing something, so forgiven for whatever I write!

Tataz!

Live and Let Die!

Rampi Says...

The impact a book you read makes is so enormous that it makes a difference in the whole of your life!

Singilinium!

Single-hood is good! just beautiful! I have no regrets whatsoever! I`m leading an absolutely happy life being a single! I ain`t complaining about it at all! Okay! Now I have the liberty to say the following stuffs.

I was talking to a friend, who apparently was pretty frustrated about being a single and he so desperately wanted a girl friend. I asked him if he was serious! Something like this coming from a guy like him, who apparently cared a damn about girls was surprising! Okay, now i understood that he was pretty serious! I asked him what the hurry was. We apparently had all our lives. Then he said something which was so so pathetic! "Age is catching up dude!"WTF?

Okay, then reality knocked the door! Yes age was catching up, not physically, I`am just going to be 22 from being 21! That does make a difference! Yes, apparently, right there, in front of my eyes, each and everyone of the individuals i know either get committed or gets married! I have no idea how it makes them feel, but it does make me feel old! I used to love the days when I can frankly say a girl that she`s dumb! Now I`m called a male chauvinist! Which doesn't bother me much!

I was talking to the same friend of mine, and we were talking about how every single girl we come across is either dumb and stupid and how all the smart girls are seriously committed. And when I was cribbing about how everyone I know is committed now, to another friend of mine, she says, "its the age!. Everyone tends to get committed or get into a relationship in early 20`s whether it works out or not." I nodded in acknowledgment. So, what am I supposed to do now? I have seen guys who hunt, flirt with every available girl in sight. That can never be me! And every time I say someone that, I prefer being a single, they look at me like a Martian!

Okay the fact is, I might feel too organized or committed or whatever if I`m having someone to share each and everything with. And thats totally contrary to what I am now! Well, love life the way it is now, and expect it to be the same!


And seriously, Live and let die! :-)