Found It Finally...

Yup!!I found the place where i can forget everything i wanna forget!!It is the good ole sabari malai!! It was a tremendous trip and i was accompanied by my pal arun. He being a debutant was good. He did really well in walking and of course, he managed the ridiculous nature calls.I in the course of time have learnt to manage. Stupid things apart; now that ive found the ultimate place, it not possible for me to go there when i feel bad. For that matter, i have to walk 48kms all the way through 3-4 mountains to see the god(which is secondary) and have a peace of mind.So have to find a place somewhere near. Still on the quest!! ;)

And about the trip, The path through vandi periyar was the highlight. The best easily!!The Lord of the rings could have been shot here than in new zealand. So beautiful.It is only during this one month that people are allowed through this path. Its damn beautiful; i wish i had an slr cam. Okay! thats it for now.

End of Days!!

Its 30th and tomoro at midnite another stupendous year comes to an end. The 31st, Arun`s b`day, the occasion which is celebrated every year with a festive mood. This time, i`d rather sit home. I dont know why i feel that way, but, i dont wanna be a part of any new year celebrations anywhere. Yeah!! One reason is, im wearing the "malai" and im not supposed to do a lot of stuffs. So now postponing all the parties after the 7th, when im back after the trip to sabari malai. But I hardly understand my sudden change of attitude towards new year eve parties.

Today, me and arun had some talking, i told him i was glad the year was ending. He asked me why, i said it was a bad year. Now that makes me wonder, i was selected for a job, i cleared the one arrear which i ever had, and ive spent a lot of money on myself!! The year wasnt supposed to be a bad one, but everything came to me all of a sudden. I was happy for a minimum number of days of the year. Otherwise, it was a bad bad bad forgettable year. Of course, every fogettabe thing cannot be forgotten. Arun told me the same thing. He said, it was a damn good year for me. Look at what im destined to?? Im not celebrating even when im kind of successfull. Like they always say, if you get one you obviously lose another.

Now, I really really want 2007 to be a memorable year. I want to do a lot of stuffs which i may never do in my life time. You know, i really want to have fun in the final semester. I will try my best to forget 2006. Im going to look forward. Im going to party, im going to hookah and hopefully im goin to spend a lot of money. You know the last 6 months in which im totally going to be depending on my dad. Obviously, i need my dad and mom for the rest of my life. But i wish i take care of them. Thats supposed to be in another post. I love my family and friends and no one else in the world. Only my sis, reads all these crap, and an obsessed moron, me, read it to make sure i have written the readable stuff. excuse me, Am i psychic?

cough cough... Kill me!!

Yeah!! For the past 4 to 5 days ive been coughing like a dog, dont mind to imagine how dogs cough!!Anyways, it feels like shit, when you have to cough all the time. My trachea is all hurt and i suppose it must be bleeding now, off the coughs!(cough)ts been some time since ive posted, the reason, one, i was off to chidambaram and two, i din find an appropriate topic(as if i got one now!!!!).Okay, to talk about chidambaram, i have to admit, i din do wat i wanted to do. I did spend some time at the temple, but it was too crowded. Had some okay time, watching the channels on tv, which we dont get here in chennai. Then sat in my cousins ice cream shop, for sometime. Time just flew by.Relatives asking me to eat every hour.That is what we call, anbu thollai!

Okay, a useless post it is alright!Anyways, too bad, nothing much happened in chidambaram for me to write here.I love the place and the temple. But, i went there on another mission, to think, to realise my value, to find myself and get myself on the road from no where.I guess i havent succeeded much on that. But, this dog will surely have its day! I`ll be waiting.It was always my dream to find a place where i can go when i feel low. Im in search of that place.Chidambaram natraja temple was a trial worth it.

ciao!!

As said earlier, im leaving for chidambaram tonight. Goin to reinvent myself. And i got my new goggles today. Its a fast track one and cost me a fortune. Actually cost my dad a fortune. And i love it. I got my contacts coupla days back and glad that its settled in my eye pretty well.Im jus loving today. For the first time, i cud see myself clearly with goggles on, into the mirror. It doesnt sound exciting! But, it sure is for a guy who cudnt have a good vision from kindergarden.Thats exageration!! I wore glasses only by 7!! Okay, now i feel all excited.Im leaving to chidambaram, and im all geared up.

Filled my phone with a lot of music.Took 3 books!! One is Night Bloom by herbert lieberman, the next is The lost Don by Mario Puzo(Damn!! hes too good!!)and The monk Who sold his ferarri!! Theres a lot of reading to be done out there.I was planning to take my laptop, but i ended up against it.Gonna hit the road tonight, obviously in a bus!! Dad doesnt allow me to even take a ride in his car.Yeah, the last time we went to chidambaram, and i was driving, he dint lean back a second and relax. Its better when he drives than, getting screwed up in the head by letting me drive.I keep away from asking nowadays!! Ooops!! shifting topics again. Okay!! Im off guys!! see ya`ll in a week!! tata!!

Worth it??

I was reading some blog and i founs this "How much is my blog worth" tag.and her blog was worth for like around 1168$.I was excited and i tried doing that for this blog.There it came, "Your blog is worth 0.00$" in bold.
Who cares?? Im writing all this stuff for my own satisfaction.Im totally happy about it.

Hail Bharathi!!

I have this tendancy of digging up old songs and listenin to them. Sutrum vizhi was one of them. I have been going around asking people if they knew the song. I was shocked!! Every single person said the song was, strum vizhi chudare from ghajini!!
omg!! This is a Bharathiyar song and with Rahman`s music. I used to love it, when it was out. Then forgot about the song. Always happens! Then, i found this song, ironically on Bharathiyar`s birthday. It was awesome. I din feel the lyrics before. But it made an impact on me this time. Ive been constantly humming this song. I listen to it atleast 20 times a day, and i (hopelessly) sing along every single time!

Since then, Ive been looking for Bharathi`s songs and listening to them. Wow, the man did do a great job. It is the beauty he incurs in every word of his poems. Ive become his fan and believe me, Jus read his song and you`ll feel it.

Sigh!! Its finally over!!

Its 2:30 in the afternoon, had a bath and lunch. Sittin in front of the computer, as usual, listening to tere bina from guru, pathetically humming along.Wait a minute!! Im vetti again!! Yipee!! Yup, it got over today, yeah im talkin about the exams. Finally(sigh)!! The exams were goin on like forever.The day of results is another story.But now, im retaining my vetti status.

Right!! Now people wont believe im vetti. Coz i have left orkut.Ive never thought of leaving it.But, got enlightened one day.But that doesnt mean im not vetti. Im absolutely vetti! Have some TV series from friend, gonna be watchin that. And as I said, goin to chidambaram, for 10 days.I am gonna be gettin contact lenses in a coupla days, hopefully.Goin to watch a movie today(veyil).I believe it gonna be a good movie.
Thats it, jus wrote for the sake of writing. chow.

Im Happy!!

Well, its really been a while since i said that. Yeah about a decade i guess!! Ive never really, have accepted the way life has for me.Ive never been happy with wat i have.Thats bad and i jus realised it.It is pretty late. All through the blog ive jus expressed myself like a depressed moron, who has his own square in life and who never wanted to come out of it.Its gonna change. I jus realised, time to think and solidarity helped a lot. Exams have been haunting me all this while.When the exams are over, im gonna run,away from this place;to chidambaram.Thats my native place.Ive always refused to go there with my folks, but inside i love the place.Got a temple which is of my knowledge the best.

Its got space.I can sit down and breathe-fresh and good air.I am gonna spend some time in that temple.Thats why im going.Ive not all of a sudden shanged into a spiritual kind and all.I jus love walkin around the temple,sittin there,looking at lives and me being happy.Thats the basic aim for every individual aint it?-to be happy.And there, i look at lives, not people.After a long time, im now very happy and I really dont wanna lose it.The past has or has not been too good for me.Ive actually never known if the life has been good to me.I dont care about the future.And I love the present.Good to be happy!

God Loved Us!!!

God,yeah God, painted a beautiful piece of a huge canvas. He gave the backround colour of the painting as black. Guess, he always liked brighter things on a darker backround. Yeah, me and God, think the same way(wink). He wanted to make his painting more and more beautiful. So he took his brush and started adding elements which he though were necessary and made the painting look good. He drew stuffs of all shapes. But he loved the shape of a circle. He drew a lot of them. He names the whole lot "stars".He painted a beautiful yellow star. Around it there were smaller circles. Whe first one was whitish, and he did not like it. The second one was orange, and he wanted to name it after his little daughter.The third was the one which he felt was his masterpiece. He used the colours which he never used. They were blue and brown of all shades.3/4th of the circle was blue and 1/4th was brown.And later he added green.The one which he probably would never use. This little circle was what which made him satisfied.Then he made several cirles and stars.But everytime his mind made him to return to the blue little cirle.

Then, he started drawing dots on the blue circle.They were of, white,black and brown dots.He created a whole bunch of dots on the circle.Then one day, when he saw his painting there more number of dots.Little did he know at that time, that these dots get life and start calling themselves, "people".For that matter, they named him God,they named his best star as sun and they even named his daughter venus!!Then these dots created something called a calender and they started following something called time.Now, the most beautiful painting by the God himself was taken over by the dots which he introduced on it. These dots dominated a whole lot.The God did not like it.Once in a while he added extra blue to it, or yellow or gave a gentle tap on places on the circle which he did not like!Yes I am talking about, tsunamis,volcanos and earthquakes.(earthlings cant even understand these things!!).

Yeah,this is a stupid post.But this is how i feel when i look for my place in the world.I first look for where I stand in my city, then my state, then the country, then the world, then the universe.Then I realise, Im jus a small brown dot which God dint intend to draw.Yeah, Shakespear told it right.

We indeed, are all actors and we are acting on a stage called earth.

And love plays a very important role.The love that, parents have for their children, the love that the child has for his mother.These charecters dominate. I do believe that God exists. But, i dont believe if hes still responsible for the things that are happening. Remember, we are just dots in the eyes of God and we cannot ask him for help, for he cant help.And as I said, choose the role to be played in this huge drama and thats the way the so called life is. Hmph!! stupid thinking na?? yeah... I quit!!

Guru - Good Work!!

Guru audio released yesterday, and ive done nothing but listening to it all day(and night).Its great.And me being a very very big fan of Rahman, its a great feeling to listen to his new creations.Its simply awesome.listing the songs and their review.

barso re - sung by shreya ghoshal.reminds me of konjum mainakale from kandukondein... beautiful song!
tere bina - excellent, and god himself has sung it.I loved it the 1st time i listened to it.
Ek Lo Ek Muft - Different to the core.and its awesome.
Mayya - It gets better everytime you listen to it.
Ay Hairathe - Hariharan used perfectly.Beautiful.
Baaze laga - Udit narayan, his magical voice and yeah beautiful ofcourse.
Jaage Hain - This is the song on which i lost my consciousness and got mesmerised listening to it.Just awesome!!

The Pink Panther

A very very hilarious movie.This I happened to watch only now, which is a bit late. But steve martin at his best!One of the best comedies. He has this french accent, which in itself is hilarious. He tries learning american accent english, thats the best part.
I simply enjoyed the movie.Smiling all the way!!

My Precious!!

Yeah!! Life is super!!Its the most precious thing and every single person has to live it up. Yeah all that crap is not crap and is pretty much true.But, after a real bad day, when i sit back and think why life sucks such a big time, i start hating it. You tend look around, the indifference is easily visible. And I hate it. I tend to think, why does this happen to me. Then once during a conversation with a friend, i realised, everyone have there problems. Not that I did not know, i just realised it. 3 people from my college, got detained becoz of attendance. They have their own problems, obviously.

I learn the same thing almost everyday, we just have to get over the various problems. But when it comes to forgetting something which you cant get, it is real hard, but possible. Today, my friend sent me a link, saying this is how I will be after a few years of work. It was funny though, but it was the truth.I really have to do something for not being obese in the future. That is one of the problems. Life really sux when we have problems, but you know, the usual crap which is not really crap. I really wish, i lead a life without problems which is impossible.For what I am today, ive faced quite a lot of problems. But of what I am today, Im sure i`ll face a lot more. You know i get this flow through my fingers, typing, shifting from one topic with other. Being pissed off really sucks!! Sorry for the horrible musings!

Terrace-trial days!!

For the past 2 days, ive been on the terrace for abt 6-7hrs a day. Theres basically nothing to do there.Have to do one of these; study(come on be serious),love nature(now thats what im talkin about),and some serious thinking(no comments).Okay, i started loving the smallest, even the tiniest things about nature.eg - dragon flies, the leaves of our gulmohor trees,the sky and the sun.And for the past 2 days i`ve been gifted with a beautiful view of the sunset.Never thought, sunset would be so beautiful from my terrace.I wish i had an SLR camera!When i look up onto the sky, i see clouds, and i see the blue emptiness of the sky between the clouds and i wished i flew up there.It was lovely.

And you have no idea what comes into your mind when you are in a terrace.I look up on all the people in the distance, and i wished i had a sniper to shoot at all the people whom i dint like, eventhough i din know most of them.I wish i had the sniper.I could see my school from the terrace, and im pretty sure i could snipe into the classes.If i did have a sniper im sure i`d blow off the head of the little mean stupid math teacher`s awfully dyed head!I wish!(cruel wink)But times just runs by when you are fantasizing all this.And at times, is fun.

The Incredible Bulk

Im really thankful, i can see my feet when i stand straight and look at my feet.I`ve jus got "Growing Fat" syndrome.I was already fat, but it now is worse.Have to excersise and im too lazy for that. Tryin hard to cut out on food, unsuccessfully.And study holidays; im forbidden to go out and im putting weight, like the iron powder sticking to the magnet.And the sad thing is, for me, it seems irreversible.I take a oath right here.

I will eat 2 meals a day
I will walk initially and later on run every morning.
I will not eat junk food.

I hope that`ll do.

Share(auto) Burden!!

Jus a small incident; me and a friend of mine were goin somewhere by bike. My friend was driving, not rash,not too fast, but pretty decently.We were goin on the Arcot road, the infamous but extremely over populated road. There are services of share autos which carry passengers from porur to vadapalani. Its pretty cheap and lot of people prefer it. So when my friend was driving, a share auto jus took a cut and ive never seen so violent a driving before.I cursed the driver.There were atleast 10 people in the auto and with them, he was driving like that.He never bothered, he din care if he had put a scratch on a merc.He was fast, or atleast trying to be.I said loudly so that he could hear, "எப்படி போரான் பார்".He turned back, managed a stare, by that time he was about to damage another car. I was pissed at him and we moved on.

A few days later, I was coming back from college, and all the buses were crowded, too lazy to stand or to hang on the footboard of the bus, i decided to get into a share auto.I was the 1st to get in, so got a place in the cushion seat.Then in a matter of time, the auto was filled. Then he started.I dint bother to see how he was driving.I sat, looking at things on the way.I dint care if he was goin slow or fast.He was goin slow, but i had all the time of my life. Then as i stared out, i thought.Two days back, one of these drivers earned a curse from me and now im thankful to him, coz i could reach home a bit more comfortable and earlier than a bus. But then i realised. Not me, We, all of us have a mentality that we dont have to bother about a social disruption unless we are directly associated with it. Can anyone say they dont curse the share auto guys on road when you drive?? And the same time, you dont bother about other cars, who are affected, especially when you are travelling in it.

This is just an example.Most of us dont bother about what we do, when we are directly involved in the crisis and we do the mistake what others do.And we have the tendacy to curse people who commit the same mistake which we may do if we were in the same situation.People dont want their policemen to get bribes.But the ones who think that way, tend to give away a certain amount of money when they are in trouble.It works the same way everywhere, especially where we think there are serious crime going on.It is funny when I realise, ive been cursing the govt while the mistake actually starts from me.I will surely try to ignore those mistakes, for example, if im caught by a traffic police, here after i will volunteer to pay the fine in the court with a proper reciept.And I will not get into a share auto if it has more people than it is allowed to have!!

ஒரு நாள் ஒரு பொழுது்

என்னைச் சுற்றி ஒரு கூட்டம் சிரிக்கின்ற போதும்
உன்னை பற்றி என் உதடு ஓயாமல் பேசும்

For people who dont know தமிழ், im really very sorry! These are a coupla lines from a song which had affected me recently.Its a song from an old movie, and the music is by Rahman(GOD).Its from a movie called அந்திமந்தாரை directed my barathiraja. I have no idea about the film,but the songs are stunning.Especially the above song!

Beau Pluie 2

Been off for the past 4 days!!Sorry if u missed me ;)!!!Anyway, on monday,we were asked to come to college, and it looked as though it was onna rain.I got the help of a friend and reached college!Tuesday, the uncertainity of rain was quite obvious.I had gone to college by bike.The road was good and the scenary was beautiful!I drove in the high 60`s and reached college on time as well.Then from college, me and some the guys had gone,jus out of the college for lunch.There in began!It started off with a drizzle.I had carried a jacket(thanks to dad`s instincts)!I wore it and was waiting for the plan to be furnished.We then came back to college to pick up another friend.A session of a huge downpour was already over.On reaching college, the guys decided to go to KFC!Okay! Nice place, good chicken, but we never seem to get bored of it!!It was drizzling quite heavily then.I decided against goin, jus coz i had to drive the bike!

The college got over but around 3:30 and it had never stopped raining till then!I had hoped that it would stop in a matter of time!Went tothe bike, and when i realised the drizzle was a bit lighter, i started my journey home!My helmet was soaked and I couldn`t wear it.The climate was cold, the sky was beautiful and there was water all over.I liked it, its hard to find this kinda weather in this part of the country! I wore the irresistant jacket, with the hood on, and started my quest back home. It was good driving for the 1st 2kms.The only problem i had was that my glasses get drenched and i could hardly see anything.It was real fun, till i reached the bypass road.Its a good road with some eye-catching scenaries on the way.

As I entered the road, a gust of very cold breeze(atleast i felt that cold) hit me! At that point, i realised, it wasnt goin to be easy.As i drove, the rain got heavier.It felt like, people who hate me were throwing small stones onto my face.Then i tied a piece of cloth around my face.It felt better.With the numbness in my body, i drove towards eternity, home.Visibility was still a problem.But I could manage.That was the first time i ever drove at high 30`s and low 40`s! I reached home, without a part of my body not wet, and with numbness in my fingers which lasted almost forever. But still I loved the rain.I still believe, rain is the most beautiful creation of god, after us, the humans. I had never regretted getting wet, but the things which get spoilt is always an issue.That day nothing got damaged and i loved it!

Stupid Everything

I`ve kinda made y`al think im a starer!Im a thinker to be precise!Ive been goin through a lot lately.And ive been trying to occupy myself with a responsibility provided by my sis.But unfortunately unsuccessful.I`ll try to put in more time and sincerity!!And yeah Ive been through stupidity too!To start with, its my stupid study holidays and the stupid "me",am,watching the stupid idiot box(TV)all the stupid day.It indeed was a stupid day as everything i did was stupid!I literally was stupidity personifiead :).
There was a stupid insurance agent(he really wasnt stupid, i was too stupid to understand anything he said),and my dad invested a jealous 5 lakhs in lic! I really dont understand the stupid concept.Why put all the money in insurance when you can keep it with you and spend it all??When i asked this they called me stupid!! haha... This is a very stupid post and thenks for all the stupid people to read it!!

Wall Staring

Im proud to announce that, ive, jus today, got a masters degree in wall staring.It was phenomenol.It could even be in the guiness book of world records.I lied down staring at the wall for 2 hours stratight.Can you believe it? But its a good feeling. Its not just the wall you stare at, but its everything.A whole movie, with heros and heroines, You see the whole thing on the wall.Its the way u look at life.The things which you desire.The things which you wish you could have done.The mistakes you had done.The mistakes which u wouldnt want to do.Everything!!You actually will feel fresh after a wall staring session.I did!

Sometimes,we human beings just forget many things which we do in our lives.The wall is a window to the past, the present and the future.After 2 hours of staring, i then looked at the present through the wall and only then got up!!I looked at everything, from my school days, through to my college days, the days when i do my project, the days when i work for a call center before i join iflex, the days at which i work the company, the days when i would,yeah,I WOULD, get married and have kids and lead a regular life as everyone.Then i face reality.I feel, this is necessary in life.But 2 hours of wall staring is really sick, eventhough i feel proud of it.Every single person, should spend some time alone, talking with his mind, and conversing with his conscience.Yeah! I can hear you! Its called day dreaming.As long as you are doing it when you have something else to do, its called day dreaming. Hopefully, I dont look crazy to all you guys. :)

Rendezvous With a Star

It was 9:30 in the night and i was bored as usual.For a change, went to the terrace.There is a water tank, which has no ladder.That is laft to the brilliance of the constructor.Now coming back to the topic.Got on to the tank with great difficulty and spent time staring at the lights in the houses around.Then too bored of doin wat i was, i lied down on the tank.Started staring at the sky. It was quite cloudy.I was basically staring at the sky.It was bautiful. Not only clear skies, even cloudy ones are beautiful.
Was jus gazing at the sky, as i wondered about different things.Literally lot of things were running thru my mind.i found a single star peeping out of a cloud.I felt like i was the happiest person.Then i ran over all my problems again.I saw the tstar twinkling.It felt as though the star was reciting solutions for all my problems.It was awesome.I saw without a blink.Awestriken!!I suddenly felt i found solutions to all my problems.Then came back home.Faced reality again.Here I am again, facing all my problems for real!!